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Obama: "Start by Listening"
President Barack Obama sent his new Middle-East envoy former-Sen. George Mitchell off to the region last night with one clear directive: "Start by listening." It's good advice not only for Mitchell, but all of us. But what does it mean?
Obama made his comments in his first formal interview after being sworn in as president. The interview was with Dubai-based Al-Arabiya network, where he said,"What I told (Sen. Mitchell) is start by listening, because all too often the United States starts by dictating."
We all dictate to others, and too much. Too often our impulse is to get out in front of problems, opportunities, and daily hiccups, by attempting to demonstrate our "strong leadership," our vigorous approach, and our expertise. We may think we're listening, but are we?
Sometimes when we're pushed up against the wall, we'll declare, "We need to listen more." But what do we do then? Here are phrases you hear, and what they seem to mean in practice: "Listen up" -- an admonition for others to listen to us; "Were listening" -- usually code words for a group or individual to position
themselves in your eyes (think: a television station saying "We're listening" or a related phrase, "We're on your side!");
"Listening tour" -- a series of conversations that often end up being "tell and sell" sessions by the sponsoring group, with very little listening ever occurring;
"Listen to me" -- translated as, I really want you to listen to what I have to say, then maybe I'll listen to you;
"I'm all ears" -- sure, until you get your first sentence out and then, "Well, let me tell you what I think."
What's needed is that we actually listen. But sometimes we fail to listen at all, as Obama suggested. Then, there are times when we think we're listening, but are we? For instance, do we know: What people are really trying to tell us, even if they cannot find a way to clearly articulate it?
What is most valuable to people in their lives, on a particular issue, or about their community?
How people are defining their concerns -- what web of concerns is at work, and how do the different strands connect to each other?
What emotions are really at work, and what do they tell us?
The Obama directive should be our directive. To create conditions for hope and change in communities will take each of us being open to see and hear others; to be willing to know their pain; to understanding reality in a way that is different from our own take.
Of course, listening alone wont lead us to the solutions that we must create and implement. But the truth is that without stepping forward to listen, we are likely to remain stuck and stymied and enjoy only fleeting success. The key to unlock here is our own intention and purpose: do we genuinely want to hear others, and are we willing to meet them where they are?
I'll be listening to hear your own thoughts.
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Re: Obama: "Start by Listening"Dec 26, 2009 | Edith OkhionkpamwnoyiWho is this one coming from E,dom the one with garments of glowing colors from Boz,rah, this one who is honorable in his clothing marchinhg in the abundance of his power i the one speaking in righteousness the one abounding (in power)to save.Why is it that your clothing is red and your garments are like thoes of one treading in the winepress The wine trough I have trodden by myself while there was no man with me from the peoples And I kept treading them in my anger and i kept trampling them down in my rage And their spurting blood kept spattering upon my garments and all my clothing i have polluted.For the day of vengeance is in my heart and the very year of my repurchased ones has come.And i kept looking but there was no helper and i began to show myself astonished no one offering support. So my arm furnished me salvation and my rage was what supported me And i kept stamping down peoples in my anger and i proceeded to make them drunk with my rage and to bring down to the earth their spurting blood Mr Barack Obama May the loving-kindesses Of The Only Trueful God Of Justice OF The Nations Of The Beauti Of Arm Be Oil Upon Your Forhand May God Be The Mountains Of Might And May he be your Security of your keeper of your door And give you All your heart desired if life in Jesus Name Amen And Amen.From Miss Edith Okhionkpamwnoyi.
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Re: Obama: "Start by Listening"Jan 30, 2009 | Kathryn QuickWhat wonderful advice. In the public processes that I study, I've been taken with what a difference it makes to keep the definition of "the problem" open while still moving ahead. This seems to be very important for an inclusive approach to public problem solving. It seems like a vital step to recover our trustworthiness in the Middle East.
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Re: Obama: "Start by Listening"Jan 29, 2009 | Kerri CokeleyI commend President Obama for this directive and Rich for providing these suggestions on how to listen better in our everyday lives. Each year I recommit to becoming a better listener. Though I have improved over time, I think there is always room for improvement in this area, both personally and professionally.
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Re: Obama: "Start by Listening"Jan 27, 2009 | Dave EvansStart by Listening. Yes, indeed.
Rich, once again a super insightful post. Listening as a first step is the underlying premise of my book, "Social Media Marketing: An Hour a Day." Fundamentally, the Social Web is a conversation, and by listening to it we can learn a lot about ourselves and our businesses.
I saw a post on Twitter this morning: "Anyone that I follow who does not follow me back will be deleted, fair enough?" My response was simply this: "It all depends on your motivation for using Twitter and the Social Web. Are you here to talk, or are you here to listen?"
We can all be better listeners.